Apps I need for my phone

As a busy person and parent, I have many times longed for an app I could put on my phone that would be custom tailored to my life. I even wrote an app once for my Android phone, courtesy of Google’s Android App Maker, which is still available. No coding required, just drag and drop boxes that apply statements and conditions to each other. Not as hard as it sounds, really!
Anyway, today I attempted to make a list of the apps I wish my phone had…
1. The Distraction-ator (Yup, I stole that from Dr. Doofenschmirtz of Phineas and Ferb.) Ever notice that you can spend an evening at home with the kids, and they don’t give a damn what you’re doing? But, break out that checkbook, try to pay some bills, or catch the latest article on Cracked.com, and they’re all over you asking to referee an argument, beg you to make cookie dough, show you where the cat puked, put out the fire in the basement, etc. Well, that ‘s what this app is for. Hide your phone somewhere, and when they come running, activate it through a web interface and have the phone chant “Find me and get candy!” Or maybe “Who wants to clean bathrooms?” That would probably drive them into hiding.
2. McDonalds Totalizer. We all go to McDonalds; they provide a service that is handy to have. Out running errands and the kids go nuclear from hunger? Rushing from dance class to ice skating? Stop by McD’s. Now, I’m not bashing the Golden Arches- people have free will and can go there or not; it’s all about moderation. So, in this app, it will keep track, via GPS, of how many times you’ve been to a McDonalds in the last week/month, etc. For a bonus, plug in what you ordered last time, and it will show you how many calories you’ve consumed there in that same span of time. You might be frightened.
3. Repeat Twice. “Come in here and clean up your supper spot, please.” “What?” “Come in here and clean up your supper spot, please.” “Oh, ok.” Sounds familiar? I never say something to the kids just one time. So, say whatever you need into this app, and then choose the number of times to repeat, in increasing volume if so desired, then just point the phone and them and repeat away…
4. Coffee Shop Noob Guide. I don’t drink much coffee; only at work, and only when I’m going to lose consciousness. Once in a long while, I’ll end up at an Alterra or Starbucks and I frankly have no idea what all the stuff on the menu means. I look for just plain old coffee, and don’t see it. With this app, just choose which chain you’re in, say what you REALLY want (“regular coffee”), and let it translate it into the peculiar language of your chosen establishment. Grande Pike Place Roast at Starbucks, for example.
5. Leaving the House Checklist. You enter the items necessary for a successful departure (comb hair, bathroom stop, favorite blanket, no open flames in home, snacks, etc) and then check them off in this app as you leave, or maybe as everyone’s getting buckled into the car. For the tweens who have their own Ipod touch or used smartphone, give them their own list to maintain and lift some of that burden from your shoulders so that you have time to remember to use the bathroom as well!

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